I’m the emotional one. I’m the one most likely to lose my temper or burst into tears, often for no good reason. Tammy is the calm one, she stays strong and maintains the even keel–even when it is to her detriment.
I’m the decisive one but I’m impatient. Tammy hems and haws more than I do, but she rarely makes a bad choice.
I’m the talker…big surprise there, but Tammy can shut me up with just a word.
Together we make a pretty good team. We balance each other out. She makes me tolerable and I make sure she doesn’t buy hideous shoes.
Last night she came home late from back-to-school night. She was tired, it had been a long day and I knew it but I needed to talk a little. The question of whether or when to have another baby is weighing on me and is ever so much more complicated this time around. I was wondering and worrying about what people might think, us having another after all we went through with Hope. The inevitable questions of “could it happen again” as if “it” was some terrible tragedy we should want to avoid at all costs. Of course, I simply cannot look at Hope and think, “yeah, I definitely don’t want to do that again.”
Don’t misunderstand me, if there were a chance that another child born to me could have Prader-Willi Syndrome I don’t think I could even consider another pregnancy. But we know that our next child, should we have one, would have no greater chance of this than any other child: one in 12,000-15,000. Still I expect people to have concerns, to wonder, and to question.
Even to consider such a thing, I think, you have to reach a point where you face off against God and say, “o.k., bring it! I’ve had the easy pregnancy, I’ve had the hard and still I’m convinced they’re all worth it and I’ll take whatever you want to throw at me next.”
So I’m babbling about and Tammy is sitting there trying to make sense of my ramblings and trying desperately to stay awake. Then she said something just beautiful. “You know, Hope has the kind of Prader-Willi she has because your egg had two 15’s. And your eggs were all formed before you were even born. That egg waited 34 years for its turn to come down the old tubes. God has a plan.”
And that, my friends, is why I love this woman (happy 11th anniversary…3 days late…btw). She wrote it off to her being a science teacher and this is her field. I’m sure she’s thought about what she said last night many times in the last six months. But she waited until last night to say it, and she said it just the right way. She opened my eyes to a much bigger picture than even I had thought of. Sure I’m on the “God has a plan” train too, it’s a part of my faith that I practically take for granted. I don’t believe too much in coincidences, in randomness– just because we may not see the whole picture, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. (Psalm 139)