God Hates Sushi

NO! you can’t has sushi, lolcat, because God hates sushi.

Let us recap, shall we, the short yet tortured existence of Sushi & Beer Night.

  • August 2008, Sushi & Beer Night is initiated to precede my attendance at a church committee meeting that I volunteered for, thinking my term starts three years from now when, in fact, it ends three years from now.  Oh well, at least mama will get a night out once a month.  Waiting to see if it catches on, all my friends stay home and I eat sushi alone like a big loser.
  • September 2008, Sushi & Beer Night is cancelled because the rest of said committee doesn’t realize that “to precede attendance at a church committee meeting” means just that.
  • October 2008, Sushi & Beer Night is forgotten entirely because church committee meeting minutes are not sent via email, alerting me to upcoming meeting, and I am not responsible enough to write these things down on a calendar like a normal person.  
  • November 2008, Sushi & Beer Night is planned, attendees are lining up and instead the wee child decides to go on a cold/fever induced hunger fast landing us in the hospital all night the evening before.  Mama stays up all night through 10 hours of unsuccessful blood draws, chronicled here.  Too tired for sushi or committee.
  • December 2008, Sushi & Beer Night falls on the Day Without a Gay, wherein I am prohibited from spending money by the Gay Mafia lest all Melissa Etheridge CD’s be removed from my possession.  As it turns out, Melissa is a big sell-out and I don’t like her anymore.
  • January 2009, Sushi & Beer Night is back on, many attendees.  No sick children.  And here I am, ten ’till six, sitting here blogging about Sushi & Beer Night instead of attending because somebody who is ALWAYS hassling me about not turning on my cellphone has been unreachable for the past hour on hers as I tried to call and remind her to be home on time.  

God clearly hates sushi.

P.S.  The next time somebody bugs me about not having my cellphone on, I swear to the baby Jesus I will take it to the middle of the street, lay it down in the road, and run over it with my car.

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6 Responses to God Hates Sushi

  1. Glad says:

    Small wonder you’re pissed. You’re quite the minimalist of a writer, from open doors to crushed phones: total impact.

  2. Kari says:

    Mark does that to me too, he is NEVER reachable via cell phone. I’ve left him many messages saying “I’m really glad we spent $160 on this cool Japanese cell phone for you. Since you got it, you’ve always been so easy to get a hold of.” The minute my cell battery dies or is in the other room where I can’t hear it ringing, or doesn’t get a clear signal in my purse for him to be able to contact me, he pitches a big fit. Hypocrite!

    Anyways, God might hate sushi, but I don’t. And I would totally have gone to sushi and beer night with you every month. Even if I wasn’t going to the church committee meetings with you. That’s how much I love you.

  3. Christa says:

    God clearly hates sushi wit the cold he gave me to prevent me from going. You should schedule an anti-Sushi and beer night and see if we can make a go of it.

  4. Olga says:

    I would go to an anti-sushi night

  5. Jennifer says:

    You’re being oppositional.

  6. Kat says:

    I want sushi. So bad. Soooo bad…

    Is it a sin to lust after sushi? Oh yeah, that’s gluttony isn’t it?

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