NO! you can’t has sushi, lolcat, because God hates sushi.
Let us recap, shall we, the short yet tortured existence of Sushi & Beer Night.
- August 2008, Sushi & Beer Night is initiated to precede my attendance at a church committee meeting that I volunteered for, thinking my term starts three years from now when, in fact, it ends three years from now. Oh well, at least mama will get a night out once a month. Waiting to see if it catches on, all my friends stay home and I eat sushi alone like a big loser.
- September 2008, Sushi & Beer Night is cancelled because the rest of said committee doesn’t realize that “to precede attendance at a church committee meeting” means just that.
- October 2008, Sushi & Beer Night is forgotten entirely because church committee meeting minutes are not sent via email, alerting me to upcoming meeting, and I am not responsible enough to write these things down on a calendar like a normal person.
- November 2008, Sushi & Beer Night is planned, attendees are lining up and instead the wee child decides to go on a cold/fever induced hunger fast landing us in the hospital all night the evening before. Mama stays up all night through 10 hours of unsuccessful blood draws, chronicled here. Too tired for sushi or committee.
- December 2008, Sushi & Beer Night falls on the Day Without a Gay, wherein I am prohibited from spending money by the Gay Mafia lest all Melissa Etheridge CD’s be removed from my possession. As it turns out, Melissa is a big sell-out and I don’t like her anymore.
- January 2009, Sushi & Beer Night is back on, many attendees. No sick children. And here I am, ten ’till six, sitting here blogging about Sushi & Beer Night instead of attending because somebody who is ALWAYS hassling me about not turning on my cellphone has been unreachable for the past hour on hers as I tried to call and remind her to be home on time.
God clearly hates sushi.
P.S. The next time somebody bugs me about not having my cellphone on, I swear to the baby Jesus I will take it to the middle of the street, lay it down in the road, and run over it with my car.