I haven’t really felt like writing much lately, I probably should anyway…especially because I don’t feel like it. Hope has the bug, but so far she seems to be holding her own. She’s stuffy but coughing, and I’ve moved her back into the bed so that she’s elevated while she sleeps. Feeding has become a challenge, since she refuses the bottle and hasn’t mastered the sippy–getting fluids into her is very, very tough. And what are you supposed to do when you’re sick? Drink lots of fluids. So instead, we’re pushing foods with lots of fluid…unfortunately, Jello –while it counts as a fluid, does not have many calories, nor does applesauce, or pureed butternut squash. At least I can add butter to the applesauce and squash.
It’s just beyond ironic to me that I am putting a tablespoon of butter into Hope’s meals, searching for the highest fat-content ricotta cheese, trying to load every spoonful with as many calories as I can and that one day it will all be exactly the opposite.
I am angry and bitter right now.
“Enjoy them while they’re little….” somebody said to me recently. I try. I try to be grateful for my extended stay in baby-land. But it’s what is behind that statement that makes me worry.