Wacky Stuff: Toe Socks

Today I am starting a new feature on the blog.  It’s called Wacky Stuff I’m Trying.  If I were being really honest I’d call it, The Crazy S**t I Spend Poor Tammy’s Money On.

First up, toe socks.

also notice the very attractive ace brace, I'm stylin'

These are the injinji Performance Series Mini-Crew, in Sand, size Small.  Because while my butt is definitely a Large, I have Hobbit feet.

According to the package, which I am absolutely sure is the truth, the “Anatomical 5 Toe Design aligns toes for better posture, gripping and balance.  Effectively wicks aaway moisture in between toes.  Prevents skin on skin friction & blistering.  Enables natural movement from heel to five toes.”

Mind you, I don’t have any problems with any of these things….yet.  So this is purely preventative.  I tried them on for Sunday’s run but had to switch back to my Thorlo Normal Person Running Sock, because the toesocks just felt weird and I knew I’d probably use that as an excuse to stop and walk because I’d be distracted by my toes.  I wore them instead when I got home because I read somewhere about them being the best thing for tired feed or whatever.  They still feel weird.  I like that I can wear my flip-flops with them.

Haaaawt.

I know what you’re thinking.  “What a remarkably practical solution you have found there, to be able to enjoy the ease of flip flops around the house, while still protecting your feet from the harsh elements!”

Truth is, I have this weird thing about socks.  I need to wear them.  I hate being barefoot, I can do it – but I don’t enjoy it.  There are two reasons I don’t like to be barefoot.

1.  I don’t like stepping on crumbs and stuff.  I hate stepping on little pieces of things that I then have to bend down and pick off of my foot because they are sticking there and won’t just flick off.  I don’t want to touch my feet.  Eeeew.  My house has hardwood floors, so that stuff just sits there waiting to stick to my feet, it doesn’t get ground in like on carpet.  It’s not that my house is a dump, but I have two toddlers who are basically just crumb-dropping machines.  Somehow they are able to just conjure crumb substances out of nowhere.  I got one of those little broom/dustpan combos like you see people walking around with at amusement parks just so I can follow the little monsters around sweeping up their crumbs.  I’m now convinced that Hansel & Gretel didn’t deliberately leave a trail of crumbs, it was just a convenient coincidence.

2. Fire.  I once saw a Dateline or 20/20 or whatever on what really kills people in plane crashes.  I always assumed that it was falling to earth from 30,000 feet.  Apparently that type of plane crash is statistically rare, most plane “crashes” are more survivable if you are prepared for fire and too many people are not.  In addition to counting the rows and memorizing the layout of the plane and your nearest emergency exit (because in a fire it will probably be dark, so you won’t be able to rely on vision), you should also wear durable footwear, including socks.  You can’t run over stuff in your high heels and your nylons and fancy-schmancy trouser socks will just melt into your skin.  So you should wear jeans, long-sleeved clothing, sturdy, leather shoes and thick socks, all fabrics should (preferably) be wool.  I guess sheep are not terrible combustible.  Now, I’m not getting anywhere near a damn plane anyway, but I think this is probably just good, general-purpose advice.  So I like to keep socks on at all times if possible.  I realize I’m taking a risk with the flip-flops, but you have to have a little danger in your life.

So, I like socks.  A lot.  I love getting new socks, it’s like Christmas.  I don’t like colorful socks with patterns.  I like them white, crew or ankle-cut, and all the same color so I don’t have worry about orphans so much.  Orphaned socks are the bane of my domestic housewife existence.  I don’t think I’ll be making the switch over to an exclusively toe-sock existence anytime soon, but I read about them in the runner’s magazine so I had to try them.  I don’t know if I’ll adapt, if I do…guess what’ll be next?

oh yeeeaaah....

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